Angry Black Lady

Read the updated version! Angry Black Lady: A Spoken Word Poem (click the link!) https://www.hercampus.com/school/augustana/angry-black-lady-a-spoken-word-poem/

As a person of color, like any other person of color, I have experienced microaggressions in my life. However, previous experiences were always with strangers or people I did not know personally. Recently, while unintentional, I experienced a microaggression that originated from a person I considered a friend and peer. On a campus where I once felt safe and welcomed.

When I had a respectful conversation with these women, one’s word choice described my actions as yelling. I asked her not to repeat that because before I had gone over there I knew I could be stereotyped as the angry black lady. I went over, expressed pleasantries before engaging in a direct conversation, and never once raised my voice. But one girl saying I yelled and was aggressive, turned into others being afraid that they were going to be next.

“I was typing from emotions, I don’t remember you yelling and I said that on a whim.”

Although her words were not meant to hurt me, it was too late now. Because four other people have now heard about the angry black lady and one is afraid of being attacked next.

I’m hurt because I shouldn’t even have to think about being stereotyped because of the color of my skin but I did. And I was.

I’m hurt because this is something that one of my peers said and without even realizing the impact it had on me, it hurt this badly. I thought I had respect amongst my peers. And now I have been painted as the angry black lady. Now, my mature conversation had turned into yelling which turned into bombarding, slamming, attacking, aggression. If I wasn’t a person of color would yelling be more than yelling? Would my actions still have been categorized as such?

So my question is: What if I was angry? Am I not entitled to be justifiably angry at the mistreatment of myself, my friends, and now the microaggression you have placed upon me?

Women should allowed to be angry and our anger needs to start being acknowledged. I'm tired of not being heard because people aren't listening. In her book The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona Eltahawy, she states,

"What if we believed that, just as reading and writing help a girl to understand the world around her and to express herself within it, expressing her anger was also a necessary tool for a girl making her way through life."

I should be allowed to be angry, and you should be too. If you walk around knowing and seeing the injustices that black indigenous people of color (BIPOC) have experienced and continue to experience because of people who simply lack knowledge or are selectively ignorant-- if you wouldn’t put on the shoes and walk a week in the life of a BIPOC, a woman of color, you are privileged. The patriarchy is STILL ingrained so deep that women, people of color, people who identify as LGBTQ+... we are all working 10x harder to be heard, be seen, be treated as equals.

So, I've said it once and I will say it again,if you are not angry then what the fuck is wrong with you?

For the first time in my life, I realize that I can’t change the world. It doesn’t matter how respectful, kind, or approachable I am. It doesn’t matter how selfless and supportive I can be. It doesn’t matter what I do, or say, or how I dress. At the end of the day, I am and always will be a black woman, stereotyped because of her skin.

Being a black woman is fun… until it’s not.

Until it’s rude, ratchet, and angry.

In this world, women are not allowed to be angry, most certainly not women of color. It took me 22 years to realize that people will always have some preconceived notion of me because of the color of my skin. It doesn’t matter if I am respected. It doesn’t matter if I am successful. This world does not want me to take up space. It was not made for me.

I will make it for me. I will continue to take up space. I will continue to be vocal and angry about mistreatment and injustices, and while I know it might not change a thing, I will continue to try.