Kat's Story

One Wednesday afternoon, Kathy (also known as Kat) went to a graduate school fair. It was at this fair where she had officially met Dave. Her competition for the school. Kat had seen him around campus a few times, but Dave had never seen her before. A few weeks later the two matched on Tinder. It only took a few messages and they agreed to meet for coffee. Kat was surprised that Dave was so forward in wanting to get to know each other right before spring break. Dave didn't want to waste spring break if there wasn't going to be any chemistry from the start. During the first date, she learned about Dave's previous girlfriend, a contestant for Miss Ohio. They had been separated for three months. While, Kat thought the first date did not go so well, and was kind of awkward, she was surprised when he asked for a second date. Everything happened pretty fast, because about a month later the two started dating.

Kat and Dave were very similar in a few aspects and their day to day routines differed completely. While Kat was involved in Greek life ad Dave was not, they had quite a few obstacles in the relationship. Communication was not a problem for these two, but they had different needs. Like most relationships, they had to adjust and compromise for each other. While Kat, made a lot of these comprimises, she thought the relationship was going great! They had been dating for about two months before Kat left for her trip to Rome. The two weeks leading up to her trip, Kat would say were some of the best in her life. She left for Rome feeling confident and happy with herself and her relationship.

While in Rome, Kat had women's intuition. She felt like she could feel Dave pulling away. She brushed it off and assumed it may be the seven hour time difference or long distance. In Italy, she was staring at something beautiful and she just couldn't help but think about Dave and how she needed to tell Dave that she loved him.

As soon as the two could meet after Rome, which wasn't as soon as you would expect... Kat planned a dinner date and cooked for Dave. The dates they went on post-Rome felt like their first date all over again... awkward. When he kissed her, he didn't kiss her like she had been gone for a month. It was like even though Dave was sitting there, next to her, it felt like he was so far away. Kat began to think maybe it was her. However, Dave was honest with Kathy and told her that his ex girlfriend was competing for Miss Ohio that week and he had seen her face on the billboards all around town. While Kat was glad he was honest with her, she was still upset and Dave attempted to put her worries at ease by saying it wasn't a big deal and that she shouldn't be worried. Dave emphasized that that was simply why he had been acting weird the past few days.

Three days later, Kat had reached her breaking point. She knew their connection had weakened and she needed to know what was going on. When she texted him, Dave made an excuse that he could not come. Kat later found out that it was because his ex-girlfriend won Miss Ohio and he threw up. The way Dave acted towards Kat made her feel worthless, and unsexy compared to the cloud 9 feeling he gave her before Rome. Due to Dave's strong feelings for his ex, Dave did not see it fair to come back and continue his relationship with Kat.

After the breakup Kat sat on her porch sobbing for hours and watching the sun rise. She called him in anger and explained how if the same situation had happened a few years ago her self esteem would have been crushed. But, Kat was stronger now. She explained how he changed their beautiful relationship to something as hurtful as choosing a Miss America contestant over her. She realized that it truly was not a competition, even if it felt that way. It was more about Dave not being self-aware enough to take the necessary time that he needed to deal with his last relationship before committing to another one. Even though Dave did not mean to hurt Kat, she realized that even guys who seem like they are perfect, goody two shoe, best guy ever, still have the same ability and possibility to break a heart as any other f-boy, and sometimes for the same reasons.

Kat is a nude model. So while she was modeling right after this breakup, she sat in silence for hours thinking about her relationship and of course the insecurities that swam around in her head. She couldn't help but catch her mind aimlessly wandering to the comparison of her and the now Miss America contestant. However, this relationship has resulted in an empowered Kathy. Dave was not the one for her. He was just a one. While Dave did not fight for her. Kat will continue her fight to find someone who will fight for her. Someone who will consider her as more than just another option. She can feel beautiful and sexy by herself without needing the validation of a significant other. Kat is truly a catch. She is intelligent, beautiful, and funny. Truthfully any guy is lucky to be with someone as empowering, strong and ambitious as Kathy.

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A piece of advice from Kat: Deal with your breakups how you need to. Do not let anyone shame your coping mechanisms. Cry, have a girls night out, simply do what you have to do. There is no way to do heart break wrong. Be fierce, make a really good playlist, cry when you need too, and laugh when you can. Also, throw a really great breakup party and surround yourself with people who love and support you!