Middle School Crush: If you don’t marry him, you’re stupid

Emaan Ali crushed on the sweet, clean shaven boy wearing a Shalwar Kameez, traditional pakistani clothing who was playing basketball with his eight-year-old brother. Little did she know, that boy would become the man she married.

Emaan, now a current senior at Augustana College, did not plan on getting married so early in life. But at age 19 when Emaan’s future mother-in-law reached out, the beginning of a beautiful relationship was ignited.

Emaan knew her husband for a long time. They grew up in the same community and they had gone to the Mosque and a lot of traditional events together.

“His mom was really nice and we got along well,” Emaan said. “She was the one who thought that I would be a good fit for her son. So she reached out to my mom and asked her if I would be interested in getting to know Uzair.

“I said yes because I thought he was cute.”

The couple first interracted when their families joined for dinner. In the Pakistani culture, the male’s family is invited over to the female’s house for evening feast.

Uzair was excited, but also nervous about going over to his future wife’s house for the first time. A recent lousy haircut had made Uzair self-conscious of his looks. “My confidence was lower because I wasn’t going in with all my swag,” he said.

Uzair brought Emaan a bouquet of flowers and her family cooked a lot of food. The house smelled of vanilla due to the life hack Emaan’s mother used of putting vanilla incense in the oven on low heat.

Emaan was annoyed at the ridiculous amount of food for just the two families. There was chicken, rice, lentils, and curry. Emaan had found out from a friend that Uzair liked egg pudding so she had prepared that dessert special for him. While, the egg pudding’s presentation didn’t look the best since it was her first time making it… Uzair ended up complementing the taste.

The dinner conversation expanded from topics of Emaan’s schooling to the parents and their family background. Together the two and their siblings got the opportunity to hang out.

“It was hard to open up at first. I’m not used to sharing everything about myself so I had to push myself to talk,” said Emaan, “It got easier because Uzair was pretty talkative and easy to open up to.”

After dinner, all of the kids went downstairs and played pool. Their siblings were close in age and everyone got along well. Emaan and Uzair would try to go off and talk to get to know each other, but, Emaan’s brothers were so fond of Uzair it just didn't seem possible.

When it was time for Uzair and his family to leave, Emaan’s brother Muhammad looked at her and said “If you don’t marry him, your stupid.”

The next night, Uzair reached out to Emaan’s father to ask if he could start texting her. He granted Uzair with his permission and the two love birds started texting and eventually going out on dates like bowling. It took exactly five days for the flint and steel to spark and the two decided that they indeed wanted to marry each other.

Emaan Ali married Uzair Ahmad July 7, 2018.

When Emaan told her friends that her family was looking at men for her to marry, she was nonchalant about the fact that it was Uzair, her crush. Gabi Lenger, her good friend since middle school said, “The rest of us were freaking out!”

In Islam, followers are not allowed to have physical contact until they are married. The day after their ceremony, their parents hosted a brunch for the couple. After the brunch Uzair and some guests spent the afternoon swimming in his pool. When evening came, Emaan got into Uzair’s grey 2018 Alfa Romeo Giulia with the slick black interior and red leather seats. This was the first time the two had been alone together.

“It was surreal.” Uzair said.

As they held hands, Emaan sat nervously in the passenger's seat. The closer they got to Emaan’s house, the more they didn’t want to go just yet. They decided to stop by the John Deer Headquarters at the little fountain pond. There were geese, swans, and huge coy fish. The willow trees swayed in the light breeze. They stood by the pond, Emaan still in her traditional Pakistani clothing, and Uzair now wearing street clothes, still holding hands. Uzair was cautious and respectful. Emaan couldn’t tell that Uzair was about to lean in for a kiss and so she kept walking. Eventually they sat on the grass to enjoy the view. The sun was setting. Its delicate orange color reflected off the water.

“It was so beautiful,” said Emaan, and it was at that moment when they shared a passionate kiss. Their first kiss. They wanted to stay longer but there were so many mosquitoes that night, they were getting eaten alive. As they ran back to the car laughing, Emaan couldn’t help the smile that was permanently on her face as they itched all the way home.

“They were so happy together,” said Lenger, “At the wedding reception, the crowds of people taking pictures seemed so overwhelming...but when they were together she just looked at him like he was her anchor through it all.”

At the reception, Uzair picked out the song Slow Dancing in the Dark by Joji to play for his wife. It was slow and sweet, perfect for the couple. “I looked over and they were dancing together. It was so perfect and cute,” Shubhi Sharma, another guest at the wedding said, “The way they looked at eachother…. you could tell they were meant to be.”

Now, Emaan and Uzair are continuing their education as full-time students. While Uzair is completing his first year of dental school at the University of Iowa, Emaan is studying Communication Studies and Public Health. The two spend their days at school and work. But they always make time for each other whether it be studying together and watching TV or going out for a date night each week.

As college students, both Uzair and Emaan continue to thrive in not only their studies, but also their marriage. “Uzair doesn’t just care about my happiness, but the happiness of both our families,” said Emman. Uzair admires his wife and how strong she is. “She’s a fighter … she is persistent and never gives up,” Uzair said. “I wish I could be as much as a fighter as she is.”